


"I Almost Died And All I Got Was This Fucking Home Video"

by ChaoticCliche23



Category: Original Work
Genre: Chronic Illness, Disability, Free Verse, Original Recipe, Poetry, Slam Poetry, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 22:17:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20973947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticCliche23/pseuds/ChaoticCliche23
Summary: A lighthearted poem about surviving and living with a disease that was supposed to kill you





	"I Almost Died And All I Got Was This Fucking Home Video"

You're supposed to make  
a living will and testament   
as soon as you finally have shit to put your name to  
But as a kid  
the only thing you gotta worry about before you die  
is making   
a Wish  
Now,   
this is when it starts to get tricky   
When they want you to make a will, as an adult   
you know how big your world is   
too many choices,   
not enough time   
But when you're five  
and the world is made of maybe, like,   
two things   
there's only one place your mind goes  
And don't get me wrong   
Disney World was great  
but kids don't know to read the fine print  
wishes don't need to come with a redo  
when the dying don't typically have second thoughts

Some would argue   
'Not dying' was the true prize  
to which I say   
Fuck that   
No one asked you 

By the time   
I was my first decade past due   
on my death sentence   
and properly learned   
the art of wanting,  
the kind of power I had and gave away   
on a cliche where my crippled ass   
couldn't ride 99% of the rides anyway   
I felt more and more   
like I'd been had  
Adele singing in the background every time   
another could've-been made it's way on my   
reverse bucket list  
"We could've had it all!"

I could've been made a Sailor Scout  
or asked for all the Sailor Moon toys  
Catch a rare Pokemon   
(a card would be acceptable)  
or ask for the Sonic and Knuckles game   
I could only ever play  
in the hospital   
instead of waiting three years   
for my mom to remarry a man  
with a Sega Genesis   
better yet  
give little 90s me her own damn arcade 

I could've joined a girl gang  
an honorary Sukeban  
Made my own fashion line  
and wear it down the runway  
Sang on stage in a sold out stadium   
Own every season of my favorite animes  
and voice a character 

Gone to Hawaii   
Gone to Japan   
Coachella  
Ireland France Australia Egypt  
The Bermuda Triangle   
SPACE 

Could've had an entire high-end wardrobe   
of my favorite clothes and make-up by now   
Been married to Min Yoongi  
or fuck it  
all 7 of the BTS boys   
Made Akira Toriyama draw my ocs   
kicking every Saiyan's ass in DBZ   
because I was a child  
extremely bitter   
that there were no female Super Saiyans

Meet up with every one of my Internet friends   
Take me back to New York   
before I had a grave to visit   
I probably could've been an extra  
in Twilight   
or Vampire Diaries   
or both  
always both  
How many of these goddamn lists do I gotta make   
before it sticks???????  
There is nothing I shouldn't ask for   
limits don't exist   
Dreams are meant to be loud and goofy and outrageous   
greedy   
and kinda naive

Kiddo, next time they ask you,  
take the risk and jump  
for the wildest   
possible   
outcome   
and don't settle for simple 

What kinda sense does compromise make   
when you're running victory laps  
on a death wish?


End file.
